HAD to have them!

One evening I was surfing about on lingerie sites, just ... because ... I was! When suddenly I came upon this!

Wow, it sent shivers through me. While I am certainly the dominant one in our relationship 99.9% of the time, there are those moments when I truly enjoy the feeling of being naughty and needing to be punished.

So I just HAD to have them! In red and black! Let me tell you, just putting them on and having my bottom exposed like that starts to pull up those naughty boy feelings immediately.

But remember, Cindy's the one who normally has a bare pink bottom in our relationship, so I continued to search around the site, finding this cute set, complete with little leather paddle!

During my last visit we both wore our respective panties, although she was the only one to get a spanking in them. We'll definitely have to correct that error next times!

The Chair

Sooooooooooo. This wonderful man of mine. I mentioned in my last post that he often senses my moods and emotions. He's pretty incredible at reacting to them too. And I must say that he is also pretty darn good at causing them! Finding some small thing that he knows will touch me real deep.

I do love that man!

I'm pretty sure we've mentioned on the blog that I'm tall ... but I'm not sure I've ever mentioned the incredibly deep and complete breathlessness that comes over me when I find myself suddenly bent over and I lose my footing and know that my bottom is completely exposed.

I have a very vivid memory of an afternoon (before I was exploring my spanking interests) when I was in the garage getting something, or looking for something in our boat. I stepped up onto the trailer and leaned over the side of the boat, and my feet slipped out from under me and I was bent over the side of the boat at my waist... feet in the air, hands thrown out to catch myself, and instantly and mysteriously breathless and tingly in certain places.

By the time I'd gotten myself straightened out and up my mind was swirling and there were several as yet unknown ... or even better, not yet understood emotions coursing through me. Every time I think of that moment, it still takes my breath away. And being that I'm just about 6 feet tall, it's not often that I find myself in that position!

Anyway! Several months ago I saw a dining table set ... one of the new bar height ones, and I fell in love. Because I'm tall, almost every time I sit at a table, my knees bump into things under the table and it's frustrating in the extreme. I love tall things!! And this table was just right. I just had to have it. Alas, as is wont to happen in the winter, what with the holidays and higher energy bills and things like that, my saving toward that table just wasn't happening. Frustrating! So, late in January I asked Dave if I could get the table set, and charge the amount I hadn't been able to save, and pay it off when my tax return came.

He thought about it for a bit, then said, "No. I'll give you the rest of the money to buy the table, but ... you're going to be spanked for it."My guy! Even when he warned me that it was going to be a hard spanking ... that I was going to pay for it with my bottom, I didn't care. I was much too excited! And as soon as my daughter and I got it moved in, I loved it. A 'me' size table and chairs! Of course, as soon as she left I had to try it out.

No ... I didn't set it or sit at it or anything as normal as that. Come on! I pulled out one of the chairs and I bent over and stretched my arms out and held on to the opposite edge of the table ... my breasts pressed into the cool, dark wood, my bottom so perfectly positioned ... and I closed my eyes and let the feelings wash over me.

It was almost perfect! But.

I stood up and pulled the chair back up to the table and sat down. My knees didn't hit anything! Again ... almost perfect!

But. Have you guessed????

The chair! Nothing can quite compare to the naughty feeling that comes when you see a simple wooden chair in the middle of the room ... waiting. Or when you stand and watch the one you love pulling a chair out from under the table ... turning it and then sitting down ... beckoning you to them.

This was just not going to work! The chairs were too tall! We have to have a chair. A spanking chair. What home is complete without one????

So ... think. Ahhhhh. There is the antique chair in the basement that I've been meaning to spruce up for a few years now. I'd always thought it would be the perfect accompaniment to the antique sewing cabinet in the attic. Just needed a little work ... replacing the chair pad ... cleaning up the wood ... maybe a loving coat of wax.

That will work ... right????

I thought about it off and on in the few weeks I had between the table arriving and Dave's next visit. Would he notice? Figure it out right away? I can't even remember how many times I bent myself over that table in those few weeks. And every time I did the problem with the chair came right back to me. What to do!

My guy. What did he do? He smiled ... he liked the table and the chairs ... he liked me bent over the table. He delivered the promised spanking while I was bent over that table. And ...

I walked into the dining room one afternoon while he was here to find one of the chairs in the middle of the room ... brush on the seat ... waiting.

deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep breath

Would it work???? Could it work???

Let me tell you! Wow. Even though the little girl in me was in her own space at the time, not forward in my consciousness ... just me and a certain special guy beckoning me to his side as he sat in that impossibly high chair. Brush in hand.

It works. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh yes. It works!

I bent over his lap, and my feet went right out from under me. The very first time I have been spanked OTK, with my feet and my hands a long way from the floor. That little girl came rushing right up inside me.

Welcome home!!

smiles ... it was very intense. I have read countless OTK stories where the spankee describes her feet flailing in the air ... hands unsure what to hold onto. I am one of those spankees who needs to hold onto something. And though my bottom had already been spanked ... that never seems to matter around here. Dave delivered a very sound OTK spanking, knowing all the while exactly what I was feeling.

I worried a little that it was uncomfortable for him. His feet were on the bottom rung of the chair ... but he assured me that it was just fine. In fact ... I think he said that he could spank me that way all day if he so chose.

Be still my heart!

I must say, it all worked out so very well!

You know ... we have a great many things in our spanking arsenol that take my breath away ... but there are definitely some very basic things ...
the 'look' ... the use of my middle name in addition to my first name ... (too funny ... but even non-spankos that I know have mentioned often how that first and middle name thing does things to them!) ... the dreaded hair brush ... and the chair.

What spanking world would be complete without them???

And here, for your viewing pleasure is the chair!

The Child In Me

I could give a complicated explanation, but what would be gained by that?

The child ... there in every urge to stomp my foot. Whether I actually do, or just mimic the motion by jerking my leg without ever taking my foot from the ground. I can even stomp my foot in bed ...

a sudden, controlled release of stress.
There when I've stayed up too late, and want to be tucked softly into bed. And there when I don't want to go to bed yet or I have to wake too early (hence the perfection of the foot stomp in bed!)

There when I'm too tired to answer questions, too needy to make decisions or even make sense and frustration is threatening to overwhelm me.
There in every playful, silly moment. When I want to balance on the curb as we walk, or lay in the sun, spin in a field of grass, roll on the floor with my pup ...

She is there in each moment that I want to be taken care of, in a hundred different ways, for whatever reasons. She is there ... that child part of me, and she is welcome. I may only have recognized her as I began to explore and understand the 'needy' part of me, but that in no way tarnishes or diminishes her importance.
She is there, living comfortably alongside the woman I am, unafraid, because I have learned to let that child inside me be. I've learned that I am a physically, mentally and emotionally strong woman. Capable of much more than I ever thought possible, and she is part of all of that.

I have to smile when I think of my granddaughter, when I'm with her, and she reacts to something and there is this sudden shock. I know that reaction ... I know the feelings that prompt it ... I know. I find myself much more sensitive to her in the world. To her feelings and emotions.
A huge part of the peace I feel surrounding this child in me, is how Dave reacts and responds to that part of me. No ... judgment. No ... scorn ... no frustration. It fits inside us. One small part of a wonderful whole.

I used to worry that this part of me was somehow a ... repercussion? symptom? of/to the D/d/s needs I was exploring ... a cause perhaps. Something missing ... something missed as a child. Something ... unnatural.

But ... no worries folks!
I may still sometimes wonder about her, but there is no shame. When I give in to that part of me, I don't give up any of the responsibility of my life, or let down those that depend on me. Somehow, her presence better enables me to be all that I am in every part of my life ... to live up to the things I feel matter the most ...

know yourself, live honestly, love completely.
On another note ... Dave has found ways to touch this part of me. He often senses my moods, and sometimes reacts to them before I'm fully aware of them myself. He was here last weekend ... yay!!! ... and I'll have to write soon about The Chair!

Yeah ... I know that's cheating! But ya gotta love it!

Spanko startle!

In the Hallmark aisle no less!

You have to love this ... but if you go to the store where I found them ... you won't find them ... I bought them all ... nah nah!

Wow ... talk about a startle! Just caught the cover of the card as I was walking by ... wasn't even looking for a card. Whoa ... back up ... look again, real quick ... yes!!! That does say SPANKING! Right there in the middle of a family oriented store!?!?
Gotta have it ... look casual ... don't grab ... glance at a few others first ... perhaps pick the one up next to it and pretend to look at it first ... (but don't take your eyes off the prize!)

Kidding!

These are just so cool! And when you open the card it plays "Whip-It"! How perfect is that!
I have this wonderful idea ... to somehow frame the cards so that you see both the cover and the inside. That would be perfect with the subtle 'spanking' theme that seems to fit so well in our house!
Know anyone with a birthday coming up? Want to express yourself ... even if just a little or in a joking way? Head for the local store that sells Hallmark cards, but sorry ... though I looked I couldn't find them in an actual Hallmark store!

Aching with need

Sundays are "our day".  The  one day of the week neither of us has to work, and we can 'snuggle' all day in a constant ongoing IM with each other.  If something interferes with that it affects us more deeply than the realities of life the other six days of the week.

On this particular Sunday morning I am needing Cindy very deep.  My body just aches to touch her.  To wake deep in the dark hours of the night and press against her naked form.  To wrap my arm around her, and cup her full supple breast.  Letting my fingers glide across her nipple and ring.

Craving the softness of her skin as my hand slides down her side, and up the incredible curve of her hip.  Caressing down her thigh as far as my arm can stretch before my fingers glide down inside them and make their way back up to the world's most spankable bottom.  Gently squeezing and massaging her full luscious cheeks. (soft smile) Well, you already KNEW as deeply as I love Cindy's entire body there is one particular attribute I can't help but give special attention!

Then letting my hand slide back up the curve of her hip, and down between her thighs to cup her sex in my hand as I drift back off to sleep.

Sometimes I'll wake three or four times and repeat my reconnection with My Girl.  And sometimes the reconnection requires a more intimate level, moving on top of her and taking her so deeply inside until we both cum before intertwining and returning to our slumber.

So as I sit her 'snuggling' My Girl, while looking over the thousands of pictures I've taken of her over the years, or the thousands she has taken for me when we're apart, the need to touch her just grows and grows until my body just ... aches.

Recent upheaval

One final comment on the recent turmoil in spanking blogdom. There's an old saying, with a bit of a twist....

Live and let live! And anyone who doesn't believe in it should be killed!

We're all human, we all have faults. Take a big step back from your computers and look at what is going on in the world right now. If THIS is your biggest concern, you need more help than Paul or PK.

There's another old saying I try to live by ...

"Let ye without sin cast the first stone."

... and you don't see me picking up any rocks.

Dave

P.S.  Just a note from me (Cindy) ...

You know, this is online.  It is a world created for one reason ... acceptance of one part of us that we might not have anywhere else.

Paul ... while real life might be a mess for you right now ... here I never felt anything but the deepest respect and support from you.  Bless you for that.  You're in my thoughts and prayers.

PK ... just hugs.  You've ever only offered Dave and I the same things Paul did.  Understanding, help, support ....

Just be well, be soft, and be strong both of you.  Many hugs.

As for the rest of it, blogs are what we make of them.  Either they offer us something or they don't.  We each pick and choose.  Face it, there isn't 100% of anything here that anyone but the writer knows for sure.  We're here for one reason, and we all know what that is...

A place to be that part of us we can't be anywhere else.  As Dave said, take a look at the big world out there and at all that is going on.  There are hundreds of causes, problems, and all manner of things that could use people's energy right now.  This seems kind of small in the grand scheme of things.

Anyway ... just my opinion.

Cindy

A little more D/s

We have both been wanting and needing more D/s in our DD relationship.  During our last visit we were sitting on the couch watching TV when I decided I was ready.

I instructed her to go in the bedroom, strip down to her bra and thong, put on a pair of thigh-high stockings, her wrist cuffs, and crawl back to me with the longest crop in her mouth.  She was wearing a black velvet lingerie set with gold embroidery we had selected together some years back, which I had chosen for her to wear earlier in the day.

After a few minutes she appeared around the corner, down on all fours crawling toward me with the crop tucked between her teeth.  When she arrived at the couch I had her stay on hands and knees sideways to me.  I began spanking her bare bottom with my hand to warm her up.  Taking the crop from her mouth I began swatting her behind until about a dozen pinker lines adorn her rosy cheeks.  I told her that was for forgetting to put on her wrist cuffs as I had instructed.

I retrieved them from the bedroom and had her stand up and face me.  After placing them on her wrists I slowly pulled her thong down her wonderfully long legs and had her step out of it.  I replaced it with one of her two leather chastity belts, buckling it in place tight across her hips.  Instructing her to get down on all fours again I picked up the crop.  I reached down, and grabbed the back strip of leather between her cheeks and pulled it up hard, squeezing her pussy tight as I spanked fast back and forth across her bottom with the crop, using mostly vertical strokes to catch her upper thighs with the tip.

I had her rise up on her knees so I could secure her wrists behind her back, forcing her breasts to thrust forward.  I helped her turn around facing the couch again where I sat down.  I put a blindfold on her so she couldn't anticipate what I was going to do to her.  Reaching into her bra I pulled her breasts up free of the cups.  Then began playing with her nipples and rings to make certain they were erect and tender.

Taking up the crop I began giving her breasts little swats.  But this position wasn't quite right so I had her turn once again toward the center of the room so I could stand up.  This allowed me to aim better, and I began striking a bit harder.  She's OK as long as I avoid her nipples and rings.  That pain is very sharp, and threatens to pull her out of submission.  With the blindfold she couldn't know when to turn away from the blows.  The combination of her bound arms behind her and the bra bunched beneath them presented her full breasts to several dozen swats until they were a wonderful rosy pink.

By now my cock was sufficiently hard and drippy, so I lowered my underpants and guided her head down to suck me.  Once her mouth found my cock and she began sucking up and down I reached beneath her with both hands grasping her nipples and rings.  Slowly pulling them up until she began those wonderful moaning sounds around my cock.

I helped her to stand and unfastened her cuffs.  I led her through the bedroom into the closet.  Lifting her arms I attached the cuffs to the eyebolts high on the wall.  Then taking some rope I threaded it through the clasps on each hip of her chastity belt.  In turn I tied each rope to its respective eyebolt, pulling the belt up tight against her pussy and between her cheeks, causing her to rise on her tiptoes.

I retrieved a new whippy toy we'd made and began whipping her bottom and back.  After warming her up a bit with this stingy flogger like toy I bent over and bit her bottom, hard.  Then of course I had to give her other cheek the same treatment.  This is something that is incredibly powerful to her in a unique way.  It's not something that she fantasizes about, or would ever ask for, but still touches her in a special place.

After untying her I removed the blindfold and led her to the bed.  I began finishing the job she had started with her mouth.  She retrieved her vibrator and began pressing it against the leather chastity belt.  Eventually pushing it aside to finish her own orgasm.

In retrospect Cindy has asked that next time I start out 'preparing' her mentally and emotionally first.  Making her 'want' sexually, and begin moving into a more submissive head space.  I can certainly understand where that would enhance everything for her.  But I think we had a pretty good time anyway!

As far as all the uproar in our blogging community, I'm not one to judge.  Cindy and I talked about it a little.  In some ways it affected her decision to pull way back on blogging almost two years ago.  But I'm not going to try to explain her feelings.  She's more than capable if and when she ever feels the need.

Five types of orgasms

We were lucky enough to get two extra days together over the New Year's holiday; which amounted to 4-1/2 days total.  I think that's the longest we've been together in about 2-1/2 years.  (Yeah, I know ... ICK!)  At any rate it was still wonderful, and great that we didn't have a longer stretch between visits.

Cindy has several different types of orgasms from different types of stimulation.  I didn't tell her beforehand, but during our shower one day I decided I was going to give her as many of them as I could in one lovemaking session.

So after our shower I led her naked to the bedroom and had her lie down on her back and spread her legs.  It has taken me lots of (wonderfully enjoyable) practice to be able to give her a clitoral orgasm with my tongue.  She is hyper sensitive to direct

 contact on it, so the trick is to lick and flick around it.  It also works best if I just hold my head still, and let her slowly move her hips slightly to move the pressure where she wants it.  I love that I am finally able to give her this pleasure, as it was the last one I mastered!

After her first cum I moved to sit on the end of the bed and had her lay across my lap with her upper body on the mattress.  Parting her legs I slipped my thumb inside her with my palm cupping her pussy and clit.  I wrote a post on this in the past, describing in detail how I give Cindy really deep 'squirting' cums.  Massaging her G-spot faster and faster until she begins to cum, then effectively fucking her pussy with my thumb while my palm spanks her lips and clit.  I think she came at least twice that way, but she'll have to confirm.

Then I started spanking her back and forth on her sit-spot, about 2 spanks a second.  The spanks were quite firm, but not punishing.  We've found if I keep the pace steady, in that lower curve of her bottom she can cum fairly easily.  So that was her third type of orgasm.

Fourth, I lubed my finger, spread her rosy cheeks apart, and slowly inserted it in her bottom.  Anal penetration is a double-edged sword for Cindy.  She always tells herself she doesn't want it, but deep inside she does.  I believe a lot of it has to do with the naughtiness of it.  And I always tease about how naughty it is for "Daddy" to do that to her.  Soon I was rapidly fucking her tight little bottom with my finger, scolding her for secretly wanting it, and being able to cum from that.  Sooooooooo naughty to cum from having her ass fucked.  

After she came I began spanking back and forth cheek-to-cheek with my other hand as I continued to finger her and draw the orgasm out longer.

Finally she completely collapsed and said she couldn't cum any more.  I love that My Girl has all these different orgasms, and I'm able to give them to her.  

The fifth way she cums is when we fuck hard doggie-style with her face and chest down on the mattress.  While she was too spent for that at the moment I assure you we managed to fit a few of those in our blessed time together as well!

She'll have to let me know if I've missed any, and I'll remember to brush up on my skills during our next visit! 

Songs about 9 ...

I was watching one of my favorite shows tonight - Cold Case. I love the music they use on the show. It's always so fitting. Tonight I heard a song I haven't heard in ages ... recognizable only by the tune ... the refrain. I'm not sure I ever really listened to the words before. Or they never really touched me when I heard them.

Tonight they did!

In a big way.

So of course I had to look it up. What a perfect song!

When I'm With You

~ Sheriff

I never needed love - like I need you.
And I never lived for nobody, but I live for you.
Oooh, babe, lost in love is what I feel ... when I'm with you.

Maybe it's the way you touch me, with the warmth of a sun.
Maybe it's the way you smile ... I come all undone.
Oooh, babe, lost in love is what I feel ... when I'm with you.

Baby ... yeah, yeah, yeah, oooh I get chills when I'm with you.
Oooh baby, yeah, yeah, yeah ...
my world stands still when I'm with you.

When I'm with you.

I never cared for nobody - like I care for you.
And I never wanted to share the things I wanna share with you.
Oooh, babe, lost in love is what I feel ...
when I'm with you.

Baby, yeah, yeah, yeah, oooh I get chills when I'm with you.
Oooh, baby, yeah, yeah, yeah, my world stands still when I'm with you.

Oh ... oh ... oh ...

Baby, yeah, yeah, yeah, oooh I get chills when I'm with you.
Oh baby, yeah, yeah, yeah, my world stands still when I'm with you.

When I'm with you.

When I'm with you.

When I'm ... with you.

Yeah.

Like that.

My Guy ... I get chills when I'm with you.

Corner time, cuffs, and the strop ...

Oh my!

It's three days after the strop, and I'm still sitting on a tender bottom.
How's that!!!
deeeeeeeeeep soft sigh

It was a wonderful weekend. We made plans ... we mostly never do ... but as always, we're best at just being Us. My special Guy was greeted Friday afternoon by me in the corner, with my jeans pulled down ... waiting.
My poor pup! He had no clue what was going on. He kept coming to me as I waited. I could sense him back there and imagine his head cocked as he watched me. Even after Dave arrived, that poor pup still couldn't figure things out! Dave explained to him that I'd been naughty and was waiting.And of course, that took my breath away, and led to a hard, OTK spanking for playing 'hooky' from work that afternoon.
What can I say ... there are more important things than work sometimes! And I needed him so much.
I haven't had an OTK spanking that hard in some time. The kind where I struggle and fuss over his lap. I usually like a little time just to 'be' together before anything else, but he pulled me deep inside, and that was where I most needed to be.
Feeling ... touching, tasting ... being. A quick shower and then out to get dinner ... and home to our first night together in awhile. Who could ask for more?!?!?!?!
We wanted to share more D/s this time, instead of D/d. Both fit inside us, but real deep wants and needs were pushing at us both. There was a brief warning about doing as I was told ...

I love those scolding/warning moments! Sometimes!

Mostly!And so in keeping with being reminded whose girl I am, I spent a little time in the bedroom closet with the cuffs on, kneeling, with my arms raised and wrists attached to the rings specifically put there for this reason!

There was no scolding or anything like that ... it was more a 'moment'. And I was perfectly positioned to take him in my mouth as he wrapped my hair in his fingers and held me still. He talked softly as pushed his cock in and out of my mouth ... causing ALL kinds of things to happen inside me.

That man!deeeeeeeeeeeeeeep breath

I do love Us!

I asked to keep the cuffs on for a while. I was doing some chores around the house ... being soft ... being inside Us. They felt good. Another of those things we haven't used in a while. Sometimes, when I think of the ... many, many, many things that make Us who we are, I fill with such ... wonder. I don't know another word that comes close to describing it.And I must admit, while I was in the closet, just those few minutes that I waited, there were things going on inside me. Perhaps I dropped a level or two, inching my way to the deepest part of me. I like it there. It's safe, and soft and warm. And even if I'm 'waiting', I'm never ... alone. I'm ... full. Complete.

I do love that part of me! Of Us. So very much.
Wow. It was such a wonderful weekend! Snuggling and kissing. Lots of kisses. Touching and being touched. Enjoying the smallest things. The most ordinary of moments. And more than once I thought that I can't wait until we can plan things. Simple things. What to do next weekend ... two days from now ... four days. I can't wait until all time is our time. Because I did worry a little that we weren't being D/s enough to meet Dave's needs. It's so hard for me to ... want ... when we're actually together. Each moment is so precious. It's ... together.
And we did find time to sample a new belt he'd gotten the last time he was here. It's thick leather, braided, and the tip is THICK. And I'll tell you what. Wow. That thing packs a whalloping sting! Two strokes put me on my toes. I commented that it was definitely a punishment implement. I'm not sure he believed me! I can be a little fussy I guess! But he did let me give him a few strokes later on, and I'm happy to say we're in agreement about it's future use! I'll have to have him take a picture of it for those of you who wish to avoid it appearing in your closet ... and for those of you insane enough to want to try it!

It takes all kinds!!!
So let's see ... I've covered corner time and cuffs. That leaves just the strop.

Oh my again.Now ... I love our strop. Just love it. It is just ... like the perfect spanking implement. Depending on how you use it ... or what time of month ... and for what purpose, it can deliver exactly the perfect stroke. I like the width too. Very different than a belt. And I've had my share of punishment spankings with it. A few maintenance spankings too. And once, a spanking with it when I was at the height of my tolerance. That ... was pretty darn incredible. One of the hardest spankings I've ever had, and not an ounce of punishment associated with it.
Can I sigh again????
Anyway. This weekends spanking was neither punishment nor maintenance. Strictly speaking anyway. Maybe ... it's a bit of both. It was part of pay back that I owe Dave for the incredibly naughty thing I did almost a year ago. I had to choose the implement(s) that we would use for this purpose, and I chose the curved handle wooden brush and the strop. The strop pays the debt back faster as it's worth more per stroke ... but we really haven't used it nearly as much as the brush. I'm not sure why! Part of it may be the feeling that taking the brush to him, and handing it over brings in me. I'm just not sure why.
This weekend though, he didn't give me the choice. He simply led me to the bedroom, instructed me to get up on the bed and position myself over the pillows with my head at the foot of the bed, and then he proceeded to cuff my ankles to the corners of the bed, and then he pulled my legs almost all the way closed and secured them together.

Quite effective!
He let me keep my hands! And I'm glad he did.
It was one of the hardest stroppings I've ever had. He spanked from both sides of the bed, and also from the foot of the bed, straight down across my cheeks. I try so so SO hard to take those spankings and not fuss. I know I deserve every single stroke, and I want to make him proud, and also because it heals things in me.

I used every trick I know to keep the tears and sobs to a minimum: holding my breath, taking deep breathes and exhaling them very, very slow, tightening my body to help hold it all inside ... biting into the covers. You name it.
And the deepest moment of all was when I heard him softly say, "Let it go. Just let it go."

I am HIS girl. Every single bit of me. Everything. His. Always and all ways, no matter what, till Infinity, Plus One, to the moon and back ... twice.

He told me later that I got 66 stroks with the strop. I still can't quite get my mind around that. But my bottom feels it. Deep down in the muscles. I couldn't sit still Sunday afternoon/night. Even sitting on the toilet hurt. I could feel the edges of some strokes, and seeing his marks on me just ... did things. Is still doing things. Heck ... I even put panties ON thinking that would make sitting easier!

Not!

It was a part of Us we haven't visited in a while. And it was so good to go back. Then we had one more moment that was a bit unexpected.

I had a bit of a ... I'm not sure what it was! A very unsettling moment of vulnerability. That is one emotion that I am NOT used to having inside of Us. I'm not going to say it was silly, because my body/mind/soul reacts to things in a way that I am very comfortable with. But this one got away from me.

We talked, even though it took a little while for me to find the words. And that helped, but my heart still wasn't ... in it. There. Where it needed to be. And at one point, when I was letting the pup back in from outside, Dave came up behind me, took hold of my arms and pushed me against the door and simply said, "Stop it."

Short and simple.
And needed. Much needed.

We snuggled a while longer, and then when we were looking for snacks in the kitchen, I pulled my panties down and bent over and put my arms on the stove. My already strop-tender cheeks endured several hard but much needed swats. They are one thing that needs no other ... explanation. Not inside Us.

I was still a bit wobbly on my 'feet' ... so to speak! ... on Monday morning. It was one of the hardest partings I've experienced in a while. I just wanted to hold on for a bit longer. Being able to really REALLY feel my bottom all that day kept me deep inside of everything. But by Monday night, and even more so Tuesday morning, I was back inside me. Inside Us. Where I need to be.

And that felt real good! Real good. Sometimes ... I like when things happen and it turns out to be a moment where you are able to get inside someone else. To really feel or understand something they've gone through or perhaps felt. It's reality ... up close and personal.
I'm being a bit ... ambiguous? Yeah ... I know! But there are little details that are best kept inside sometimes! Suffice it to say that we're none of us perfect, but there is a certain softness in knowing that perfection was never a requirement anyway.

Right now I'm real full of happiness because I know that he'll be here again in just three weeks. Three teeny, tiny weeks! I can hardly wait. I've been putting warming cream on my bottom a couple of times a day. Just ... keeping it all as much inside me as I can until he's here again.

And then we can share lots more holding, spanking, kissing, spanking, touching, spanking, tasting, spanking ...

Would You?

I look up at him and whisper, "Would you kiss me ..."

and he leans close and brushes his lips against mine ... soft. And then he smiles at me.

I smile, just a little, and whisper, "Yes ... but would you ..."

and then he catches my bottom lip between his teeth. He tugs gently, teasing just a little before he finally pushes his tongue between my lips and kisses me deep, pulling the breath right out of me.

I sigh and draw my arms between us, but he takes my hands and pushes them up above my head, and then looks at me as his fingers trail softly down the insides of my arms. They don't stop, but continue down, across my chest where his hands meet, and then separate again and trail down ... around, and then up over the twin swells and I shiver and whisper, "Dave," I almost whine, "would you pleeeeeease kiss ..."

and his fingertips flick gently against my nipples and he asks, "Where, baby girl?" I shiver and the breath catches in my throat as his teeth catch my rings and pull gently. I nod and arch my body up toward him, and he looks into my eyes as he wets his lips with his tongue ... very s-l-o-w-l-y wets his lips with his tongue, and then he kisses me.

Right there.

I sigh. A deep, soft sigh, and he pulls back and looks at me. "There, baby girl?" he whispers against me.

I nod and reach to pull his head to my breasts again, but he shakes his head and slides further down my body. I can feel his breath on my skin, and he lowers his head and kisses my tummy, a soft, gentle, wet kiss. Then he looks up at me.

"Or ... here?"

A deep shiver races up the center of my body and I reach for him, but again he shakes his head and catches my wrists in his hands and pulls them down to my hips and holds them pressed against me tight.

"Please," I whisper.

He smiles and lowers his head, his lips so close to my skin that I can feel his tongue moving around his lips as he wets them again, deliciously teasing, and then he whispers against me, "Please what, baby girl?"

I struggle to control the shivers.

"Pleeeeeeeeease," I whisper. "Please would you kiss me ... "

and he pulls my hands beneath my bottom and forces me to arch slightly up toward him, and then he kisses. A barely there kiss beneath my naval, and I moan as I try to rock my hips, to move them ... to arch higher. But his chin presses down against my pubic mound, and he pulls my hands further beneath me, so that they are cupping my cheeks. He places his hands over mine now and presses his fingers in around mine and together we squeeze my tender cheeks.

I can feel the warmth of his breath as his mouth moves lower ... soft breath caressing my skin, and I moan softly but it turns to a gasp as his lips press against the delicate folds of my skin.

He holds the kiss through my shivers, and then his tongue pushes out from between his lips and he presses it against me ... right there, and he moves his head ... gently ... side to side, and his whiskers brush against my skin and I arch up hard. He squeezes my hands against my cheeks and rests his chin ... right there ... and gently admonishes me.
"Be still baby girl! Be good ... be still," he whispers. "Tell me what you want."

I struggle to spread my legs, but he tightens his elbows against my thighs. His tongue reaches out and flicks across my skin and I shiver again. Need is coursing through me deep now.

"Please ... please," I whisper. Frustration mounts inside me and soft tears fill my eyes.

"Please what, baby girl?"

I feel his breath again, so warm. So very warm. I close my eyes and relax into his hold. He blows gently and sends the shivers racing. I arch. I meet his warm breath and then his lips.

"Pleeeeeeeeease ... please, would you kiss me ..."

and he does, just as I whisper, "there."

And the world explodes around me.

It has been a looooooooooong while!

I hardly know how to begin! The best way though would be to thank everyone who has left comments in the past week or so. I have to admit that I clicked on a link to see what picture of ours that a commenter was posting about, and was surprised at how it touched me to see it myself.

And second I'd just like to say that Dave and I are doing fine! It's still a struggle sometimes to find time for everything ... trying to fit it into our days ... schedules and oft times weary minds! But we're managing.

The end of summer and beginning of fall for me were mostly taken up with a pup who had hurt himself very badly. This guy is ... part of my very own heart. His recovery was long but we made it. He's had a bit of a set back these past few days, but there is still a very bright and golden light of life and love in his eyes, so I know we're doing ok.

Work is work, family is wonderful and it is getting cold around here! Hard to believe that it will be Thanksgiving in another week, and Christmas just around the corner from that. Then another new year??????

Where does the time go!

Ah well. Such is the way of things! Dave will be here in less than two weeks. Yay! He's had a pretty rough schedule these past couple of weeks ... meetings and a trade show and little time for snuggling with me. No ... I'm not whining!

Well .. sorta!

Though the timing of his next visit may not sit well with Mother Nature, the need inside us both has been nearly overwhelming. I'm pretty sure we both felt it even during his last visit, but until those days apart again, it was hard to define. With lots of time on my hands and not nearly enough hand time on my bottom ... things got real intense inside me.

Just a real desperate need for HIM. For Us. For all we are at the very depths of Us. And our solution is to bring in more D/s time during our next visit vs. D/d time.

One thing we both agree on, is that no matter what, we won't stress our time by trying to fit a hundred things in. There are always things we would like to do ... experience, but once we're together, what we really need seems to make itself known and we answer to whatever that is in the moment. It's always worked very well and we have no intentions of changing what works!

Maybe we'll just tweak things a little!

I don't know if I'm 'excited' ... there is always that part of me that says "don't count your chickens before they hatch." So many things could happen to thwart the visit ... and in the end, what our hearts/minds/bodies speak when we're touching, feeling and together for real is our true bottom line.

No matter what happens during our next visit, there is another thing that is real deep inside me. As we've been chatting over the past few weeks, and thinking that we need more D/s time, we've also discussed the night when I became His girl.

It wasn't a planned moment ... it just happened, and it means the world to me. I remember the night ... the moment ... the sounds, the emotion and everything around us. Maybe it was so beautiful because it just happened. Because it was so simple and yet so ... incredibly deep. Neither of us knew in those moments exactly what it would mean and how it would grow, and I for one have no complaints!

But we've talked about renewing that tie. That ... vow? I guess I'm not sure what the right word is. And about this I am excited. A very subtle, deep inside me kind of excited. Neither of us is sure exactly we want physically, and yet emotionally I KNOW.

Hardly makes sense. And yet, that is when I know it makes the most sense.

On another note, there are a series of photos that I've wanted Dave and I to take, so that I can frame them for one wall in the bedroom. The first is a black and white shot of us kissing, and it has been up for a veeeeeeeeery long time! And now the second has finally made it to the wall too. Yay!!!

Even Dave hasn't seen it yet ... but it's great! It's another black and white shot, taken from behind me. I'm wearing just white jeans and a black thong, and Dave's hands are pulling the jeans just off my right hip ... enough to expose my tiny heart tattoo. Then we did the tattoo in red, just as it is. The only spot of color in the photo. My hair is just visible against my bare back ... it is in no way porn! Nothing like that. It's just an exquisite shot with sooooooooooo much meaning inside us. One that family or friends could see with no embarrassment! Sweet huh?

I especially love the spot of red in the tattoo, because, believe you me ... my bottom paid for that tattoo lots of times!!!!! So it seems very appropriate that it is RED!

And now we also get to figure out what the next photo in the 'series' will be.

My daughter loved the picture ... so much so that she's planning a similar one of her once she has a MUCH bigger tattoo done! I'm kind of excited about it. With a much reined in pup, there hasn't been nearly enough time in the woods or with a camera as I would like! So just the thought of a photo session is exciting.

Oh ... speaking of daughters! I must say that my relationship with her has changed dramatically in the past year ... in a most wonderful way ... and there is some fodder for blogs in among all of that!

But ... that is for another time!

It has been ... strange ... in a good sort of way to re-read our own posts here ... to look at the pictures again ... to look in again on some of the blogs I haven't seen in months.
But that also brings back the memories of how I felt the blog was taking over too much of Us. More time spent sharing moments on it, than sharing thoughts with each other, and that is just ... unacceptable! Time here has to ... compliment Us, not define Us, and that seemed like a line that blurred so often.

And now I'm thinking that a s-l-o-w spanking ... a mixture of quick hard swats, and slow, well placed swats would be real, real, real, real sweet. Then a hot cup of tea, and snuggling in next to the most wonderful guy in the world with a tender bottom ...

Yeah. That would be just about perfect!